July 10, 2006
11:18 am • Filed under: Uncategorized
I stayed up too late Saturday night and it fried my brain for the rest of the weekend. Really. I went over to my girlfriend’s house - she lives across the road. She and another friend were hanging out - they’re the fresh divorcees of the group, so they’ve been lying low until recently. That whole “who gets the friends in the divorce” thing was hanging over their head and I told them I wasn’t about to take sides. Just because my husband had known Anastasia’s now ex-husband since they were 5 didn’t mean I wouldn’t hang with her.
Anyway, I went over there, had a few drinkies and did a bunch of man bashing. I didn’t bash my husband - he’s a good guy and I can’t protest about him. No, I was bashing their ex-men along with them.
It’s so sad to see what people do to each other when they split up. Mean stuff. That saying “there’s a thin line between love and hate?” So true. This person you married and planned on sharing your life with, have children with, etc. - you’re so in love with him/her it’s almost sick.
Then stuff happens, you can’t work it out anymore, you break up, you file the papers. You end up hating each other and do anything and everything you can to screw with their world.
My friend’s ex came to their house when she was gone and took EVERYTHING. Every spoon, every piece of furniture, practically every decoration hanging on the wall. All of it. What’s the point of that? So petty. And these two have children - children she took care of! So she’s sitting in an empty house with their children and he won’t give up a plate to her. Crazy.
So I stayed there til nearly 2 a.m. (!!!!) and woke up at 6 a.m. (!!!!) cos of my daughter. Went back to sleep but it wasn’t good sleep. Hubby watched kids but they kept coming in and out of the room til I finally gave up. Hence the fried brain and the lack of writing this weekend.
After listening to all of this, I’ve decided that’s why I like to write romance. Too much real world, everyone hates each other, divorce battles stuff can make you feel so depressed. I know this stuff goes on - hell, I’ve been divorced so I’ve lived it, but when faced with it every day, man - it sucks.
That’s why writing a love story is so great. Let’s you get caught up in the flush of first love. The rush of meeting someone new. Don’t have to deal with too much b.s. cos you know the HEA is just around the corner. That’s why I love reading it, too.
Why do you write/read romance?
Stacy Dawn says:
Same reasons and it’s also the reason I prefer romantic comedy. Sometimes this day and age is just riddled with tension, anger, and sadness, that it needs a good laugh just to get them through and to remember that living happily is what living is supposed to be about.
Kimberly says:
I was talking about this with another writer earlier and we pretty much decided we write about romance so that we can live out our little fantasies without getting into any trouble, hehe
Sharon J says:
Having spent 11 years of my valuable time with a fuckwit of a man, I know exactly how your friend must be feeling. He took petty things that he had absolutely no use for just so that I couldn’t have them (my divorce certificate from a previous marriage? What could he possibly want with that?). His last words on leaving were to my daughter. “I’ll send you the money for a flight so that you can visit me as soon as I’m settled.” That was 4 1/2 years ago. She’s not heard a word since. Not a Christmas card, birthday card - nothing! We know he’s alive and well because the woman who was my closest friend in Norway happens to be married to his cousin.
Maybe this is why I turn to romantic fiction. It’s nice to delve into a world where people can work through their problems and be nice to each other.
Kelley says:
Same reasons as you. Life can be too stressful and opening a good book always puts a smile on my face. If I can one day put that same smile on one of my readers faces, I’ll be truely happy.
Julie S says:
Yep. The real world is too chaotic, too unreliable for my taste. Too many people that I know act irrational, and it bugs me.
I guess you could say that I want to CONTROL THE UNIVERSE.
Nicole Reising says:
Oh you’ve just nailed the why I refuse to read woman’s fiction unless I ‘know’ the ending’. I want a happy ending darn it!!!! I’m reading to dream - not get more reality!
I’m writing for the same reasons!
I hope you get rested soon! I had to smile on the kids part - my hubby has tired the same thing and the same thing has happened to me! :-)
Cole
Sarah L. Castleberry says:
Definitely read and write for the HEA.
I’d never tried to put it into words, but years ago in college, a guy asked a couple of us ladies why we read romances - fluff stuff.
I probably blushed and shrugged. But this one girl’s answer - “it gives you the feeling of falling in love for the first time again” - like you said, Karen, the rush. Perfectly articulated exactly how I felt.
The guy was like “Really? It does that?” I think he was going to go read one!!
Amanda Brice says:
I’m a minor HEA girl. I give a HEA but it might not be as neatly tied up as the HEA in traditional romances. I guess that’s why I tend to write chick lit, rom com, and women’s fiction.
But I do like an HEA.
Silma says:
I write erotic romance for the sex. *lol*
Cora Zane says:
I read it for escape. Plain and simple. Not that I’m not happy with my life or anything, but it’s nice to kind of project outside my life sphere for a while… if that makes any sense.
Shelli Stevens says:
Ah hon that’s so sad. What an ass, that guy who took everything. Grr. You’re a great friend to them.
I read romance to get away, to imagine someday that might happen to me. Small, very small chance, but you know
Emma Sinclair says:
I read (and write) romance for that little pang you get in your chest when you know everything is going to be okay.
It’s the same reason I watch romantic movies (and get that pang every time).
You don’t get that enough in real life.
M.E Ellis says:
Whoops. Opposite to you guys. I write realism. I have just finished a HEA though. Thought I’d give it a go.
:o)